Saturday, April 17, 2010

surviving the 6th week!

~thanks, :)

oh well..oh well..huh?
it was a combination of great,ok and so-so week,
Let's start with GREAT,well of course I was so excited because last monday
was ozzie's First day in "move to the music class",with awesome mothers, they seem very friendly but I have to
leave before the class ended (my step-daughter Rackie took over)
because jeff and I has to go to a very important meeting.
as a mom, i still feel a little strange being surrounded with mothers like me.

Ozzie did good, he doesn't care much about the activities,
all he wants is run, run and made that animalish sounds ( like lion,dog,cat etc)
but I love seeing him with other kids, although
he doesn't seem to care with others, I was happy all in all
just to be there, and for both of us to experience it :)

With the so-so stuff, oh well, I guess we came to the point
that we just have to deal to whatever the hell she wants to do
and not feel too stress out about it. Hubby and I talked
that as long as we made sure we are doing the very best we can,
be there for her, making sure she got EVERYTHING she needed with everything,
we just got her a wheel chair hoping she'll be motivated to go
to church, play bingo, go with us to the park etc..

Its been soooooooooooooooo hard to deal with a person who has
no spirit of happiness, and as the saying goes "happiness is contagious",
I have to stay strong to fight all the negative energy I got to
face everyday....this is officially the most challenging time
of my life/our lives as family...

But in my heart I always believe that God is watching over me and
my family and He is always with us...

so let's keep movin'!

Sunday, April 11, 2010

i miss ..... (part 2)

21. food network.

22. rachael ray & ellen show.

23. kumain nakakamay ANYTIME I want...

24. afternoon naps.

25. a quiet, fun, loving moments with my son every morning
and afternoon, simply enjoying every single moment
without worrying about anything (that i gotta do this & that)

25. once in a while, right after i woke up in the morning,
destination: computer with a fresh,hot cup of great coffee

25. having our VERY OWN PLACE
(where I can put any pictures I want on the wall,and do
what i want with anything and everything,oh well mostly,
i forgot how my hubby wants to CONTROL EVERYTHING
as if he owns everything!!!!)

26. having a nice bubble bath ( i hate how the bath tub looks here,
and the bathroom looks so dark, no windows, I tried it one time
i feel i was suffocated, darn!

27. My SUper Loving,fabulous,generous sister

28. My Loving Nanay

29. My Super kind brother

30. being ME

I miss...

~thanks, :)

1. being just me, my husband Jeff and my son Ozzie..

2. doing whatever, whenever.

3. going somewhere on special occassions or birthdays.
(we suppose to go to Wisconsin Dells for weekend
to celebrate hubby's bday, but we didn't..
too complicated..)

4. videoke.(whenever I feel like it)

5. being lazy :)

6. twin lakes.

7. sentry (that's where i buy a really good ribs for my sinigang!and yes
with fats)

8. having a forever and ever conversation with my nanay. (2 hours at least)

9. having a forever and ever conversation with my Ate Esme (3 hours)

10 talking to flor and LMAO.

11.having company and enjoy the margarita or any alcohol.

12.having company just because..

13.having company and let all the kids go wild!~
(and we can yell, scream all we want, all the mommies I mean)

14.having intimate moments with hubby (i know! sucks.)
( at the end of the day he knows I am exhausted,
i am probably worse than having a 9-5 job because mine
is seriously round the clock, yes, I am dead serious!)

15. my hip-hop abs and bender ball (now, that's a choice)
(that means i have to get up at 5:30..hmmmm)

16. FB

17. sending a super dooper long e-mails to someone I care about.

18. watching 3 movies in a row (or at least 2)

19. sleeping -in

20. go for a ride wherever (when hubby is going somewhere)

to be continued...need to prepare dinner :)

Surviving the 5th week!

~ thanks,

i know, I haven't been using my original pic
here in lovinglife, oh well, its easier
just to search and copy it here, and just
acknowledge some "thanks-to" where i got it from...

ah, that was a scream by the way!
I friggin' dunno...this week, what did just happen?
I don't even remember...

someone is being EXTREMELY LAZY this week.
how can you tell someone in a loving way "you ready for a shower?"
for the 100th times?
and just simply ignored you..yes, a 100 times or more as well..

and some how, you can't take it anymore..
and what the hell do you need to beg her that for?
who stink anyway...I mean...

I actually took my Nanay's advice, sponge bathe that is.
ah..but seriously?? that was way 100 times different
from an actual bath...agree?

So I don't even wanna count the days, it frustrates me
so badly...I might just ended up packing my bag (and Ozzie's bag)
and just go, that would be a dream (big!)

Ok..that's just one out of a hundred things.
I am not exaggerating, if I start writing a list
it'll easily go for at least 101..

the thing is, she is not the only person that I need
to take care of, I have a toddler who just a blink of an eye
who knows what's his into..I have this HIGE house to clean, dishes
to wash (i don't use the dishwasher don't ask me why)
laundry,fold & ironing clothes, before she came here, I feed whatever is easy
to Ozzie, now a healthy breakfast is well-planned,even our dinner seems
to be plan, and take note, I AM THE ONLY ONE who eat the left-over,
even you tried to re-invent a new meal out of the left over...
miracle if someone will take a bite of it..
paying her bills, we only been here for like 4 months,
our stuff are still...a mess!
I really don't have time for my self.
I know "if there's a will, there's a way"..
like yes, of course I can still talk to my sister and brother through skype.
then I have to be up at 4am, which I wouldn't mind because
I so love them both to death!

If I will not get up at 6:30, definitely no shower that day.

my son get up at 7 or 8 am, she'll get up around 8 as well..
I spent my at least an hour of my day, for our morning routine.
plus the time washing all the pans (that I use to make the breakfast)
trust me there's always a pan or pot involve..
oh well, she eat cereal once a week, and that was my gift to my
easy-breezy morning :)

minus the fact that the stairs, stairs, stairs.
I really don't need a FORCE EXERCISE at this point of my life...

what a life!

one of the comfort that I probably get this week
was a conversation with my sister-in-law,
no wonder they've been begging us to get her back here
because she/they couldn't take her anymore...

she said she remember herself going to work crying
coz of frustration to "her", not helping herself,
of course if she's not helping her self, who will then?
she thinks its only tough on her, she didn't realized its
beyond TOUGHER to people around her...

and the fact the my sister in law works at the doctor's
office, she met people who were really really sick,
dealing with physical & emotional pain and more,
only has 2 months to live, but no one can stop
them from smiling and embracing that hope..

and she comes home, there's her mom, physically healthy
but emotionally drained. helpless.hopeless.
because she herself, killed her own spirit..

what do you do with that?

Jeff and I sat down and talk to her.
she needed help.
she said yes.
Thank God..

and that will be in my "surviving the 6th week"..

Thursday, April 8, 2010

a day off please..


OMG. okay, i tried to be positive everyday..
but optimism is a serious matter ya know..
it needs some sort of dedication...and for human
like us...there's no way our days will always
be perfect...okay, let's talk about at least
"good"...of course its possible! why not?

oh well, what if.. if you are challenged by the situation?
what you do with that?
especially, if you don't have much option.
ah! I am tired of crying ha hah.

I didn't realize it could be exhausting too haa!
oki, enough with drama mode.

I badly needed a day off!

That was actually somewhat a joke (or maybe she's serious)
a friend told me one time, is it your day off inday?
ha ha..i just answered her...ah I wish!

but I thought and hmmm...why not coconut?

Okay, I mean..I am talking a one whole day off here,
I don't think it could happen, I know I can leave
the house for a few hours, and that also mean I have
to take Ozzie with...but would have been nice
to go somewhere just me, a friend/friends with the free-spirited me..

Just have that laugh back, that I used to have,
laugh until you can't laugh no more!
or until your stomach hurts!

Of course I can make it bigger and more fabulous,
and that includes spa, massages, super delicious
gourmet food....movies and SHOPPING!
but we'll get to that (when??)let me see...

Okay, let's take baby step then..


oh! mother's day coming up right? (dream big!)

(and some day with Ozzie)
(and some day with hubby)
(but "just me & a friend/friends is so important!)

Sunday, April 4, 2010

surviving the 4th week...(yay!) one month na uy!

olala...holy cow, was that really 4 weeks,
that means we are actually talkin' about month

okay...this was an Easter week, we really had
a great, busy week, let me see..
we did a lot of stuff/activities, this is
what great about being home and having someone
let you understand how easter could be really exciting!

we colored eggs, baked a Lamb Easter Cake,
went to Annual Easter Egg hunt to my ever love
place Twin Lakes Wisconsin, just to see our
"old place" bring tons of memories and smiles in my heart...

we also flew a kite in one of the nearby park,
we have gotten a few days of gorgeous weather
and totally took avantage of it :)
I have taken a lot of pictures and so happy with everything!

And on easter eve, made some baskets for Ozzie, raquel and my friend Nel,
happens its also their (Nel & Al)1st Year Wedding cool!

And jeff took me to places whenever he sense
I just needed to go out, I don't even have to tell
it to him, before I used to feel bad leaving mom
all alone, but making sure she'll be fine,
I don't feel bad anymore, because she's actually fine,
she just rest for a few hours (1-2) until we get back..

YEs, life becomes so much easier,
I don't take a lot of things so seriously nowadays,
it also motivates me to get the house clean because
there some days we have unexpected visitors,
and I know I am pretty much in charge with everything
around the house, and it makes me feel good seeing at least
the house looks ok...

Today, Easter Sunday, so fabulous, hubby and I went to church.
Just me and him.
What a super charming morning that was.
Saying our prayers together.
Laughing together.
Made a trip to store without arguing.
Feels great.
God is so good.

What happen was, mom decided not to go to church,
its too early this and that..the first mass is 7am,
ozzie doesn't get up until 8:30-9am so we figured
we can actually leave Ozzie then we'll
be home before he even get up...

And everything just perfect.
They were both still sleeping when we got back,
enough time for me to cook breakfast and enjoy my breakfast
which is white rice and pritong tilapia (sawsaw sa toyo na may lemon)
nakakamay of course!

but...we still encourage byenan to go to church
or at least go to adoration chapel..
saturday mass will might work as well,
we will keep trying until she said yes,
and we'll see how she feels about it..

So there you go.
God is sooo great!
things that I know would have not happen
without His blessings and guidance everyday...

His love for me and my family is so amazing..

Thank You Lord...