Saturday, April 17, 2010

surviving the 6th week!

~thanks, :)

oh well..oh well..huh?
it was a combination of great,ok and so-so week,
Let's start with GREAT,well of course I was so excited because last monday
was ozzie's First day in "move to the music class",with awesome mothers, they seem very friendly but I have to
leave before the class ended (my step-daughter Rackie took over)
because jeff and I has to go to a very important meeting.
as a mom, i still feel a little strange being surrounded with mothers like me.

Ozzie did good, he doesn't care much about the activities,
all he wants is run, run and made that animalish sounds ( like lion,dog,cat etc)
but I love seeing him with other kids, although
he doesn't seem to care with others, I was happy all in all
just to be there, and for both of us to experience it :)

With the so-so stuff, oh well, I guess we came to the point
that we just have to deal to whatever the hell she wants to do
and not feel too stress out about it. Hubby and I talked
that as long as we made sure we are doing the very best we can,
be there for her, making sure she got EVERYTHING she needed with everything,
we just got her a wheel chair hoping she'll be motivated to go
to church, play bingo, go with us to the park etc..

Its been soooooooooooooooo hard to deal with a person who has
no spirit of happiness, and as the saying goes "happiness is contagious",
I have to stay strong to fight all the negative energy I got to
face everyday....this is officially the most challenging time
of my life/our lives as family...

But in my heart I always believe that God is watching over me and
my family and He is always with us...

so let's keep movin'!


Ellen said...

You have spunk. But more so, you have ... rock faith. That's a fearless combination. :-)

You have seen a bamboo tree. Marami nyan dito sa atin. You have seen how it bends and sways even in the fiercest and strongest wind. Nothing can beat it down. You're just like a bamboo rolling with life's punches. Pliant - flexible - adaptable. And that positive streak in you is hard to beat down too.

But most of all i admire you for being so genuinely .. human. You laugh, cry, get mad or exasperated, get overwhelmed and go crazy... yet still manage to find something to laugh about -- things, situations, others, or yourself. Particularly, I so appreciate how you connect with your God in all the times of your life.

That's fantastic. I don't think you need a lesson or lessons on how to live life. You're doing just great. Fact is, by reading your blog, we can learn a few things or two or many to help us get on with our own lives too. There is no perfect life.. we all get our share of the good, the bad, and the inconvenient. :-)

Oh by the way, keeping a blog is a good harmless way to vent. Keep writing, there's nothing negative about it.. not from a positive person like you. It all comes out amusing, real, and insightful.

Take care always, Khel.
You are always in my thoughts.
Love and prayers.


Gratitude said...

Hello Ate Ellen,

Thanks you soooo much, you have no idea how much this means to me...para po ba sa akin lahat ito? thanks for always believing in me and makes me realized that I am doing the right really melts my heart and always grateful for showing me your support and genuine care...your words are so powerful...and very moving..

Yes Ate Ellen, I am hangin' here and I am praying not for long...waiting seem forever...can you please help me know when enough is enough....i really do miss that moment with just me, my hubby and my son...doing whatever, whenever, to be honest...we feel that we are so stuck and really have no idea what direction to take...

Thank you for all your kind are my angel...and thanks for always being there for me..

love, khel

Ellen said...

Hi Khel,

So sorry to disappoint you this time, but truth is nobody really knows when enough is enough. That is, if you have hung up your faith in God. Because when you do that, it's no longer you who is running the show but Him. So therefore 'enough' will be in the context of 'when God says tama na.' Then He will move to end it.

But try to see it this way...

The two of you are there with her because you both have a job to do in her life .. as designed by God. How do I know that? I don't. :-) But it is easily seen that you do a lot for her which others may not be able or capable of doing themselves. So then clearly you are there for a definite reason and it's as clear as daylight. She needs you -- both of you -- and God answers that prayer by giving her the best people to do that -- You and your hubby.

You're not stuck with her although it appears to be as others may think it so. Or as you may feel it seems that way. But this is bigger than you think. Bigger because you both are placed in the position of caring for a life. A life precious to God as you both as so precious to Him.

Don't worry about directions or anything. God has that all figured out. When He does something .. always it is good. To understand that, you must learn to see things through the eyes of God. Remember that God does not do things that will harm us. Never! Remember that. Trust and believe it, more especially on days when you feel overwhelmed by it all.

The human heart is frail and weak.. true.. and will easily succumb to despair and defeat. But God did not create a loser spirit in us. No! We are made in His image, therefore we will overcome anything that comes against us or mean to hurt us. Do not give the devil room to work on your weakness. Be filled with God's spirit and you will win over the evil one.

If she is difficult to live with, it is because she feels so helpless with her illness and to be bound to that wheelchair. She must be wishing in her heart that things were different. Being 'difficult' does not reflect what is truly in her heart and mind. And maybe she can't get herself to tell you both that. I am sure that she sees and is grateful to you and hubby for being there for her... even if she doesn't show it. Fact is, not all families are like that. You have a precious thing in your hands -- a gift of love. God sent it to you so that you can pass it on to her. It's God's love passing through your eyes, thoughts, actions, words, hands. Your service to her is God's work.

What am trying to say is... do not look at the situation from the human angle; it can wear you down tremendously. I know cos been there-done that. But look at it from the eyes and heart of God who wants so much to bless the two of you, your mother-in-law, and everybody in your home. Receive that blessing by being humble and obedient to His will. Not easy, I know, but try. It is in trying that the blessings come to fruition.

Family moments can be had whenever or wherever you may want it. Create those moments with your family. You don't have to wait for the right time. The right time is always now. Don't wait to hug your child and hubby or cook a good meal for your family or buy flowers for them or just be there together in the moment. You see, not all families have that chance to be together. Some families suffer separation, not by choice. So you are blessed, very blessed.

Learn to count your blessings. Fiercely count your blessings, seen and unseen. Make that a habit. Teach your family. That is your source of peace, calm, hope, and joy.

Keep strong in the faith, my dear friend. You are not alone. God is right there beside you. Trust and believe.