surviving the 3rd week...some good news!

~~for the picture: thank you peacechurch.net


okay, after reading my previous post,
geezz...what the hell happen to me?
seriously? i was obviously in an adjustment
period of "the new chapter in my life"...

things and situation are actually exactly the same.
no change. oh yes. none.

but me? oh yes. me? has change big time.
i don't care if its going to be yet temporary,
i am embracing it wholeheartedly.

I have learn a lot, its me that making it difficult for me.
Family and friends helps me realize, see, feel that!
big time!

So this week, i didn't try too hard, too much,
i just went with the flow, if she doesn't want to do things,
i let her be, i do whatever that i have to do.

I just keep reminding her that I am here whenever she needs me.
My days are better, I ask her, she answered,
days that she let me feel that as if its my fault
of this and that, I learn to let go,
and just leave her and give her space.

I manage my time better, made some schedule,
helps me not to feel overwhelm and frustrated everytime
I was not able to do things...or miss something.

i learn to forgive my self.
appreciate ME more...

Today, I went to church with my good friend Nel and her hubby Al,
I feel so awesome on our way home, I feel something,
I don't know what it is, but I feel that God
is smiling and telling me that I am doing a fabulous job.
(well, i am not sure if God even use "the fabulous" word" ha ha)

But knowing in my heart that I made God smiles,
because I am doing at least "good", even just a tiny good,

That was more than enough reward for me.
For everything that God has done for me,
what I am doing right now for me and others is
"nothing" way nothing, compare to God's love
to me, to my family, to my friends...

Praise You my Dear God..

thank you my dear Kat ...for the loving inspiration and for always being there...

~~thank you pravsworld.com~~


Dear Kat,

I have read your e-mail
after my mom in law and I had breakfast,
I initiate a conversation and tried to cheer
her up...didn't work.

i went back to our bedroom and found my self
in front of the computer, when I saw your e-mail
and it says "surprise!"....I caught my self smiling,
like ya know, super big smile :)

and when I was reading it I am honestly in between
smiling, crying and laughing..your letter was so moving and
a part of me was dancing inside, and feel that magical
sense of happiness...I am so inspired and really,
it was a healing moment for me :)

I felt that all of a sudden all my questions
were answered, and that belief that things really do happens
for a reason became so clear..

Thank you with all my heart,
you know me so well and you are always been
a gift to me...in every way...
thanks for lifting my spirit today and always,
I couldn't be more grateful to have found
my way back to you..I love you Kat!

thank you Flor...

~thank you pravsworld.com~~


Dear Flor,

All that says in the picture, define
how much your friendship means to me...

thank you for sharing me your story
about your mother, i am so inspired by it..
now....I always think about you,
and what you’ve been through…
when I found my self so down...

And thank you for always offering me your good listening heart,
For always calling and checking how am I doing
And continue giving me support in any way you can..
I always appreciate that and it means so much
Especially right now with my situation…

Thank you for always being there for me..
I love you bff…

what i discover this week....

~thank you pravsworld.com :)



1. to wake up at at least 6:30 am, would give
me a very pleasant and beautiful morning,
just by myself...30-60 minutes of quietness
and me...

2. that we can actually leave my mom-in-law
for up to 3 hours, on her nap time,
if i/we needed to go outside and that is
between 12-3 or..1-4 pm....or 2-5pm.

just making sure she got her cellphone,
water/drinks and other "important" stuff by her side..

3. over-trying, is not really necessary.
going with the flow is much easier
than trying too much and too hard.
its much lighter in my soul as well.

4. making some plans and schedules
is so much easier than just
"do whatever" in everyday....
now, i get excited to start my day.
and be prepared for some unexpected
distraction.....that's life!

5. I can still cook and eat what I want
but NOT when i want, a little bit of planning
is really necessary now. Especially with meals
na mas masarap pag nakakamay...
yes, i still can't take a judging eyes ha hah.

6. that I can still enjoy watching Oprah,
whether she like or feel of watching it or not,
i just have to find a way in the morning,
or just stay up late at night.
though i always prefer to watch in the morning,
either way will work.

** i also have other option.
to request it to my friend Nel to record
it for me :) life is so delicious!

7. that i don't have to over-try to initiate a conversation
at all times, I am not a psychologist, as long as I let
her know that I can drop anything that I am doing for whatever
she wants to do or talk about. i think that's enough.
i am sincerely available for her whenever she needs me.
but i will not act anymore that as if I have to beg her all the
time to talk on whatever things that bothers her.
I've realize if a person is ready to talk,
she or he will talk...

i did try to talk to her in every possible way.(though)

it didn't work, like what my sister always says,
she still in an amazing state of mind, she's not that
forgetful,she can still walk, she has her hearing aid now,
that according to her even a drop of a pin she could probably hear,
she still in great strenght at 79 if she'll choose to be,
she has her fabulous daughter-in-law (i thought i badly needed
to mention that ha hah) to take care of EVERYTHING
she needed around the house
her son is here to take her whenever she needed to go
she still have her house
she has friends...

really, her life is so fabulous,
that even herself couldn't even think of an excuse
not to live in its fabulousness..


i gave all attention and everything she needs,
if she will not help her self, even me, trying my hardest
will just not going to work...

but always and always my main goal is,be there for her and
let her know that you I care sooooooo much!

i am so sorry...

Just want to say so sorry for my family
and some friends who i bored too much
with my whining and complain about my
situation...

honestly, sometimes I don't even know
I already talking about it,
its just comes in my mouth,
everytime I heard "musta na?"...

Thank you for always have an open-
loving-good-listening heart..
It helps me tremendously!

But I also need to learn to stop that,
I don't want to be those people
like ya know....i still feel
that i don't have the worse situation,
yes, its hard.
but ya know, life goes on everyday...

my ate,my kuya and my nanay are my heros
they're my ultimate strenght,
they gave me beautiful advices,
they makes me smile...
I couldn't imagine my life without them
in my life...i would die for sure...
ok, maybe exaggeration...but really,
they mean the world to me in countless
ways and reason..

I love them so much!

Ok, if just in case, you called, anybody called
please feel free to remind me, that its ok
to complain for a few good minutes,
but hey life still good...

oh yeah!

Surviving the 2nd Week...

Omg....oh well, ya know I always wonder why people
do feel depress, I understand now that some people
just don't know how to relax,be alone and be happy
at the same time....

I am probably one of those people who loves
to be alone once in a while, but I do love to entertain,
and have great company here and there..

But its always been important to me, to have
my "Me" time...

And in my situation right now, its so freaking hard.

I am not exactly extremely busy everyday, its just
living in a big house, with the organizing and all that
chaos of everyday life is too much already just to have
only 24 hours a day...i love to wake up as early as 6am,
but i would just love to be in bed by at least 10pm.

But that's not always the case.
I have to take care mom first, Ozzie, second.
And that all whatever you can think of bed time routine.EVERYDAY.

There were times that my body just gave up while
I am on the couch waiting for her to say:
"I'm off to bed now", then I get excited!
Because I am looking forward each day, try to have
a quiet evening, just me writing my journal and gratitude book,
or catching up with my fave program on the computer
or just reading some of my fave book or magazine.

Again, as much as I wanted to do this every night.
I can't.
Sometimes I just want to go to bed right away.
My sleep is always a priority.
I need to have a good hours of sleep so I won't get
crabby the next day...
And in my situation right now, I don't know
how many times I bite my tongue, hold back my tears,
count one to ten, take the deepest breath, and just
trying to dig down how much patience I got deep inside me..

Days becoming so slow these days...
I feel bad, I feel strong, I feel different kind
of emotions every single day...

I keep asking my self, what am I really doing?

And if I question my self about, is this fair for me?

Of course the answer will always be the crunchy NO.

But...knowing in my heart I am totally doing the right thing.
without expecting anything in return, I really believe
that I am such a super human ha ha hah.

oh yah, why? try to be in my position for one day?

Not fun. But sometimes doing the right thing doesn't always
mean fun and convenient...I just always tell my self...

This just part of the challenge, once you made this,
whatever comes your way in the future will be totally
a piece of cake..yum!

Surviving the 1st week....

Yeeeeeepppp! One week indeed.
And hey am still here breathing...
I can't believe how brave I am..haaaa!

Well, I would've make it without all the loving
support that I am luckily getting from my friends & families,
both sides, I like the fact that my sister-in-law
has zero expectation and has huge faith on me
that I'm gonna do just fine :)

as funny as it sounds, i like when she says
"hang in there"...for me its a support really
through words...

And oh-my-friends like Flor and Nel,
helps me big time, thanks guys!

And to my friend Kat who I know
I haven't heard for a while but always
and always giving me so much great advices
while I am reading her messages I always wanna cry :)

And to Joy,who always shows her love,
by calling and making sure I am doing well..

And my nanay who always helps and prays for me
that it was given to me because Lord knows
that I have the heart to do it...
and gives me advices what to do
in times that I feel of giving up,
frustrations and any kind of mix emotions...

For my ate esme, who understands
what my situation right now...She is always
my strenght, she gives me all the loving
support and she always thinks about me,
what is good for me and my family..
she loves me and she makes sure
she let me feel that and I always
do..i love you ate!

For my Kuya who always prays for me
and always be there for me...
though we don't talk very often
I know whenever I will need him
he will listen to me and shows his
love through his words..

To my fellow bloggers Ate Ellen and Robyn,
you both are awesome and gave me so much
beautiful advices, your blog helps
me in a lot of ways...
You both are always be a blessing
to my life...

Ate Ellen, I know i haven't been
sending you any messages but I will
never ever forget you, and thanks for your
time sending me those beautiful messages that
really touches my heart until now
I have saved and print them and it really
lifts my spirit...I still keep
visiting your blog I just didn't get a chance
to comment yet, I am still looking forward for
your book and will always be a fan of yours :)


And miel, sorry haven't been e-mailing you,
but we had so much fun exchanging all that funny
e-mails...you are really a great friend and
your sense of humor is sooo awesome,
you always makes me smile...

And with Jeff,
i guess he is trying hard but..
he is definitely helping his mom
in a lot of ways, but at this very crucial
time in our lives, whether i like it or not
yes, i think we have to hold each other's hand
most of the time.

Today I just mad at him for so many reasons,
i'll leave that in my journal, too ugly
to put it in here. Very inappropriate.

Besides, this is all about me..surviving :)

Yesterday actually was awesome. Maybe because,
I had a chance to go out finally after a week...

Thank God...for my good friend and neighbor like
Nel & Allan, ahh, don't you love great people
who really do care...its so nice..
almost makes me cry :)
Its just I feel so grateful, I am simply
overwhelmed ..

Then my nice step-daughter came to watch
Ozzie and her grammie so Jeff and I made
a quick trip to the store to get what I need.

-word-find puzzle for mom
- a gratitude journal (btw. so pretty:)
- print pictures for flor
- that's it i guess.

Yup. I feel extremely thirsty feeling that
fresh air from outside..
Felt sooo good.
I wish I can do that more :)

well, maybe I start jogging or something.
ah, we'll see about that.

So I think I am getting tremendously better,
when it comes to planning a day or something,
made a few lists for mom to choose
to do in everyday...

I think I made some really easy fun ones
I haven't shown her yet but its all about the
timing, i don't want to pressure her of doing
something she doesn't feel like doing...

so we'll see about that...

head ache.

i really don't experience headache that much
but these past 3 days, its unreal!
maybe, I don't get enough sleep,
i needed a 7-9 hours sleep to feel that
i am fueled enough to have a really good day,
have enough patience to go through everyday
and strenght of course to stay strong to whatever
that comes my way...(rhyming??)

anyways.

I have been really good about taking my Vitamins
coz I feel my soul and body is screaming to take it :)

I have talked to my hubby about taking a stresstabs
but deep inside i'm too scared to take any kind
of supplement like that because of the possible
side effects, that may not happen in my age right now
but something that may not be good in the future.

A friend of mine have reminded me about that too
so I have decided, no stresstabs for me.

My sister suggested ginseng, so I may do some research about that.

But for now I am going to stay with my Vitamin B complex
which says that helps for normal functioning of the nervous
system....so far, so good.

I really really feel of napping right now,but I can't.
having a toddler who is into everything I feel even
sometimes blinking is prohibited :)
And mom needs me.

I can do this. I will. Right?

i can't define my emotion.

seriously. I have been having a hard time
dealing with my emotions lately.
for the first time in a long time,
i feel like...

mix of stress.fear.confusion.

i am trying to find my self.

but i guess, its too hard at this point.
because I am busy.physically exhausted
most of the time at the end of the day..

i once said to my friend that I feel
of crying, ya know that you really
really wanted to cry ...but.
I am too tired, I am just gonna
go to bed instead.try to have
a good night sleep.

I thought that would be better.
It was not really.

I was tired when i get up.
then that feeling of crying again still there.

but then again I can't.

i need to start my day and trying
really really hard to smile a lot.
its hard to smile when you don't feel
like it.

but i don't have to show to the whole
wide world that I feel somehow sad.

she does not have to know.
its gonna make both of us two miserable soul.
and it would not make any sense.

oh well....
waiting...

super bowl

 

nel & al

 

nel,al & oz

 

margarita time!

 

Ozzie & Tita Nel

 

 

jonah, me & flor

 

Baking Mood?

~~ For some reason i am in the baking mood
these days..ahh!
i don't bake much on summer, well,who'd
yah think LIKE to warm your house on summer right?

anyways.

when you get more than 10 inches of snow.
you don't drive.
and your house is cold though you try
to turn up the heat..

solution? BAKE and BAKE some more.
I do like when the house warms because there's
something good cooking in the oven,
and the house smells yum too :)

The pound cake as usual is from a fabulous box.
but hey! My Pecan Pie, is totally from scratch..
oh well, at least the filling huh?
Not that i didn't try to make my own dough, trust me!
I tried and somehow lose my patience and mind ha hah.
I am sure not the most person bless with patience,
so I asked a little help from store and that surely not harm anybody,
right ladies?

I am so new in the world of baking,
i also not like any complications and too much ingredients.
i want my life to be a little easy, but be able to enjoy
some freshly bake goodies...

have a yummy day :)

 

CRICUT AND WINTER PROJECTS :)

~~Okay, my mom-in-law gave me a cricut on Christmas
of 2007, i know! i never touch it..
and honestly, i haven't been updating my scrap-book
for who knows when....

but since we are in the process of moving, going through
with stuff and try to get rid some is just a nightmare..

anyways.

i found my cricut!and while taking a break the other day,
i managed to read the manual and used it :)

it is indeed pretty cool :)

you'll see my very first project, just the lettering though!
but looks pretty nice right?
this is one good project especially on winter,
coz most of the time you just want to stay home
when like here in Wisconsin you're blessed easily
with 10 inches of snow just like that..(no complains amen)

not bad for a first try huh?

i am loving my cricut already :)

**i got the very first version/model of it, smaller and i think
though am not sure, no lower case in the cartridge :(
i still love it though :)

 

My Cranberry Orange Bread + tea + MOVIE = TGIF

~~ well, don't let me fool you, that bread is from
the fabulous box of betty crocker ha hah.
it turn out to be good, though I learn some tricks
in baking from Giada (foodnetwork)...
like an orange cake, to make it more flavorful,
instead of using water, substitute it with orange juice,
or even use a little bit of orange zest, it all depends
of course, on what flavor are you using.....

Thank God its Friday, it funny because I don't even work (yet)
but hey! Friday is good...means weekend..already? ha hah.
For some reason I love giving my self a relaxing day
every Friday, I am in movie mode today because
my VIDeoke/ karaoke is not working...so bummer!
i love to sing on Fridays, i don't know..
sort of celebrating that weekend is here I guess...

on friday, I wake up Ozzie normally earlier like,
6:30-7:30, somewhere there, i clean the house
(naks kala mo totoo) I have been doing this routine
for a few months now, and with lots of prayers,
and motivation, (wag sana mausog, may usog ako,
baka mausog ko sarili ko ha hah, baliw!)
I am doing really well....hooray to me LOL!

1pm, that's Ozzie's nap time, and he'll nap
mostly 2-3 hours, which gives me time to enjoy
a nice lunch, watch one movie, have a nice dessert,
or whatever snack, or sometimes just a cup of real
good coffee or tea....
I even put a little make-up and dress-nicely
as if I am in the movie house...ha hah..
am crazy that way...oh well...
I love my self..and that's important :)

and of course, after 3 hours, back to the real world,
back to sweat pants and do your hair whatever is comfy!
love.love.love. life.

Winter is officially here......

~~ yesterday is actually not our "first day of snow", it was
the second time, we had about an inch on Thanksgiving day,
but thank God, the day became clearer as we headed to Ohio...

its somewhat a mixed emotion everytime I see a snow,
its funny how you heard a lot of people says,
oh no! so not ready for snow yet...
it looks undeniably pretty outside, but it also
means that road is slippery and for some maybe
a little hard to drive on the road...
well, at least that's what I've heard from some
of my Pinay friends here...
but you know, you gotta do what you gotta do,
and you gotta go wherever you needed to go :)

and in the picture, that's not our car by the way,
that's my mom-in-law's car, jeff didn't get a chance
to take it to her house yet, coz he is so extremely busy..
poor car..ha hah..am sure it misses its garage...
where it can be safe and sound and cozy :)

All About Orange (scent)

I love the smell of anything orange, I am not a big fan
of the fruit orange but the smell of it especially the zest
just makes me feel refreshing, i love the freshly squeeze
orange juice though...

here in the picture you can see a Nivea's Touch
of Happiness moisturizing body wash,
in orange blossom scent and bamboo essence ...
for me, its smells crazy good
my sister bought it at walmart and left to me
when she got back to denmark,
i found my self at one time washing my hands
over and over again..ha hah.
one of my fave actress/tv personality Kris Aquino
once said that orange
soap or anything orange can be very therapeutic...
there's something about it that
stimulates the brain waves and relaxes the body
...or at least something like that...

the other one is Burt's Bees Honey and Orange Wax body Lotion,
i don't use it in my body....just because....
but I use it ALWAYS in my super
dry hands and it works really really great...
the smell ? not so much....
but I still like it...

the orange soap, i bought on ebay it has
a very good smell of tangerine,
it doesn't giveme a lot of bubbles
but its smells good...really.

the other one was just okay,
i bought it so cheap just because
i saw the word "citrus splash"
which screams "orangie" to me..ha hah...
crazy purchase, again i use
it every night in my hand or every trip
i made in my bedroom... LOL...yup,
i have a very dry hands because
I don't know how many times i wash dishes every day...
or wash my hands after I touch something...
i am good at washing my hands, or just
simply using a hand sanitizer, and yes,
swine flu will totally sooo hate me and I love that :)

there you go...

btw, my sister just mention to me about
Nivea's Orange Body Lotion
which am dying to find out where i can buy it...
anybody knows?
(as if i am pretending that someone else
reading my blog..boo-hoo me! ha hah)
but if its not available here she has
to send me one..ha hah...
whether she like it or not...

ahhh...orange my love.

Steak Night! (late post)

~~ MY DINNER--
I like my steak medium-rare
I like my potato cooked in white wine,olive oil
with a little bit of parsley and parmesan cheese.
I like my asaparagus roast in olive oil or
grilled, but too much dishes already,
so i just had the steamed one..ha hah.




~~JEFF'S DINNER --
he likes his steak medium rare.
he likes his potato baked. (and top it with sour cream & bacon bits)
and steamed asparagus.

What's not to love about Michael Buble???? ---SUper Love tha "Haven't met you yet"

~~ This would be a good song for me and my hubby
i thought the "haven't met you yet" defines
that there are so many things that you'll discover
about someone..or someone you love...
if you only give your self a chance to experience
every single moment with your love one...
like for me, my husband...

i love the part:

"And I Know That We Can Be So Amazing
And Baby Your Love Is Gonna Change Me
And Now I Can See Every Possibility

And Somehow I Know That It Will All Turn Out
And You'll Make Me Work So We Can Work To Work It Out
And I Promise You Kid I'll Give So Much More Than I Get
I Just Haven't Met You Yet"...

My Movie Day :)

~ THE PROPOSAL~

Plot
On the verge of being deported and losing the high-powered job she lives for, the controlling Margaret announces she's engaged to her unsuspecting, put-upon assistant Andrew. After proposing a few demands of his own, the mismatched couple heads to Alaska where they have four short days to convince his quirky family and a very skeptical immigration agent that their charade is real.

***LOVE,LOVE,LOVE THIS MOVIE!!! As in super hilarious, though
the ending is guess so okay..but all in all....it is a movie
that totally crack you up! Sandra and Ryan..so natural when
it comes to romance-comedy...go ahead and see it!! winner!




~GHOST OF GIRLFRIENDS PAST~


Plot
Connor Mead is the kind of guy who dumps three girlfriends. At the same time. By teleconference. So when he attends his brother’s wedding he has a single goal: score with the only bridesmaid he somehow missed. But the ghost of his departed Uncle Wayne –who taught him to love ’em and leave ’em – has another goal in mind: restore Connor’s lost faith in true love.

** this movie is just an OK for me, there were scenes that I thought
was really slow, definitely not what I expected...
but i thought Jennifer Garner is so cute as always.
i am not really a fan of matthew sorry....

Satay :)

~~ okay, when we were at the store,in an international isle
i saw this called satay mix or something like that,
it kinda reminded me of Thai food, so i got it and thought
i'll give it a try....it wasn't that bad...its just not
what I expected, it needed a little seasoning but I guess
it meant to be like that because it comes with a sauce..

i thought the picture turn out quite good..
so...its worth posting..he heh..
my hubby likes it though...
i gotta eat it...with rice..as usual...

DEFINITION :

Satay or sate (pronounced /ˈsæteɪ/ SA-tay) is a dish consisting of diced or sliced chicken, goat, mutton, beef, pork, fish, tofu, or other meats; the more authentic version uses skewers from the midrib of the coconut leaf, although bamboo skewers are often used. These are grilled or barbecued over a wood or charcoal fire, then served with various spicy seasonings.

WANNA GROOVE WITH ME? I AM PRETTY CRAZY 'BOUT THIS SONG!

~~ I AM NOT SUPER CRAZY ABOUT THE SINGER BUT I AM
SO IN-LOVE WITH THE RYTHM OF THIS SONG...
I LISTEN TO IT WHILE AM DOING MY EXERCISE AND
TOTALLY MOTIVATE ME ESPECIALLY WITH MY SIT-UPS
I USED TO COUNT AND GIVE MY SELF A LIMIT..
NOT ANYMORE...I DO IT AS FAST AND AS LONG AS I CAN...:)YAY!
(well, i don't exercise everyday.....yup, i need some motivation
with that...)

My Movies

17 AGAIN


17 AGAIN

If you somehow had the chance, would you do your life over? Thirtysomething Mike O’Donnell would. Then one mysteriously magical moment, Mike gets his chance. He’s suddenly back at Hayden High where he’s the star of the basketball team, a total hottie, and a classmate to his own teenage kids…which gives Mike a chance to go from not-so-good dad to really cool friend.

~ what can I say? well of course, the fact that Zach here was
ridiculously hot, it is a good movie. I like it a lot :)
.... it ended good...good moral i guess....



I LOVE YOU, MAN

Plot
In this wildly funny hit comedy, Paul Rudd gets engaged to the girl of his dreams but has not a single guy friend to be his Best Man until he meets the ultimate dude, Jason Segal. Rudd and Segal’s “bro-mance” takes male-bonding to hilarious new heights that keep you laughing until the unforgettable last frame.

~ I kinda like this movie, i have seen this a while ago
and honestly could not remember if i like it or not bwa hah.
i was trying to recall movies that I watched just because..
there was for sure some funny scenes (like the farting scene when they
were in an open-house) i thought that was hilarious!
plus i like Paul Rudd...i think he's pretty awesome :)
i like him as well in his movie "Role Model"..

 

MOvie Day (on weekend) ~ SUNSHINE CLEANING~

---
SUNSHINE CLEANING--

Plot
Desperate to get her son into a better school, single mom Rose (Amy Adams) persuades her slacker sister Norah (Emily Blunt) to join her in the crime scene cleanup business to make some quick cash. But underneath the dust and grime they also come to discover a true respect for one another, and create a brighter future for the entire Lorkowski family. Rated R by the Motion Picture Association of America for language, disturbing images, some sexuality and drug use. Widescreen.


---i didn't exactly like it but this kind of movie is something that
you can relate like it can really exist in real situation..
like yah know, someone struggling finding a good job that pays good,
being a single mother, and other stuff...
and there were some funny scene and dialogue of course..

my fave:

1. what a father love can do for a struggling daughter.
2. your sister can be your best friend.
3. you'll always find a goodness in people's heart (winston character)
4. when oscar (the little boy) opened his gift on his birthday
5. when the business grew and the job became like its really a good gig and pays good
6. having a kid in the family seems gives everyone a sense of joy :)
7. letting go of someone (who doess not see our value) is sometimes the best gift we could ever give our self.
8. no matter what we do, its our life, no one is entitle to question or make you feel that your nothing because of what you do.

 

The Two Wolves Within

An old Cherokee told his grandson
‘Two wolves rage within us,

One is Evil, it has many names:
Anger, envy, jealousy,
Sorrow, regret, greed,
Arrogance, self-pity, guilt,
Resentment, inferiority, lies,
False-pride, superiority and ego.

The other is Good, it has many hues:
Joy, peace, love, hope,
Serenity, humility, kindness,
Benevolence, empathy, generosity,
Truth, compassion and faith.’

The grandson thought for a minute
And asked: ‘Which Wolf wins?’
The Cherokee simply replied:
‘The one you feed


Author: Zoya Zaidi
Aligarh (UP), India
Copyright©: Zoya Zaidi



Mike, have sent me an e-mail about this one:
if you want to read more here's the link:

http://www.ukauthors.com/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=19293

OR click here : >>> this

Harvest Day!

after my last post, i actually felt a little guilty as this one is all about our "harvest day", we are blessed with a lot of tomatoes this year and of course lots of Thai peppers, which i love and pretty much use with everything, i mean, there were meals that i cooked that ozzie eats as well, and that mean i cannot make it spicy, so what i do, is match it with fish sauce and lots of chillies in my meal time, in that way i will have the desire spicyness that i wanted...

we also have a few veggies, we started late this year, so next year, we planned to hopefully start sooner, but still, jeff did a really good job..and I am so enjoying our organic vegetables...





~ We had a lot of green beans this year, but it is a little different,
from the store, but still, its organic and of course healthy..




~ TOMATOES AND MORE TOMATOES, SO DELICIOUSLY SWEET..





~ MY HUBBY SAYS ITS CALLED :LEMON BOY TOMATO--it is really yellow
it does taste like its sort of a lemon flavor, very refreshing :)




~ GREEN BEANS -- just simply sautee it in garlic & olive oil




~ LOTS OF JALAPENO PEPPER, GREAT FOR JEFF'S HOME MADE SALSA!




~ ZUCCHINI, CUCUMBER AND CHERRY TOMATOES--
- i love the cucumber & cherry tomatoes in my salad..

don't you hate doing stuff you really don't wanna do???

don't you hate doing stuff you really don't wanna do???

but you have no choice so do it anywayz...and just close your eyes and see the positive and beautiful side of it.....and started being grateful kahit pa na labag na labag sa loob mo...

that's how i felt yesterday, sunday, didn't even make it to church, but i love that i was able to talk to my fabulous sister and loving brother, but the connection was so annoying, its either, they couldn't hear me, there was something wrong with my headset, or my brother will just got disconnected....then my sister will lost the signal or something and got diconnected....oh well, at least to talked to them for a little bit is always been a great treat...

then in the afternoon, jeff made a salsa, i mean, he made a really really good one, post picture soon, with matching freshly deep fried chips, so good! but i couldn't take the mess he made sometimes, that was really a pain...left everything out for me to clean up....
oh well....suck it all in, and rather than complaining, just started working my ass off, cleaning up, who else will do it anyways...

sunday, is my kind of relaxing day, i pretty want to give my self a break on sunday, as in just doing the basic things like, cleaning up and a little bit of cooking is my thingie on sunday...MOVIES, is the highlight of my sunday, that if, we plan just to stay home. If we are going some place, then movie can be put aside, that's ok...

Because sometimes if you spend almost your whole day out, you pretty much just want to have a relaxing evening....or..still watch a real good movie...lol..movie again of course..

Anyways.


Later that afternoon around 3pm, jeff said, not asked, announced I guess, (my step daughter were here) that we are all going to clean up the yard later that afternoon...i looked at him, and told him, i really don't feel of doing that....and he start his lithany of this and that and really hurt my freaking ears and he totally pissed me off, so I said I will take a nap in an hour, and I'll go out there ok?? but for now, I was up early and needed my "power nap"..comprehende?? and so I headed to the bedroom, found a good movie "boomerang" and there goes my nap....heheh..i couldn't sleep anyway..

as soon as my step daughter hears we are going to clean up the yard, herself made her way out, that she said "she needs to go babysit" who knows where...and who knows who..jeff didn't even bother asking, oh she said someone, like her mom's boss' kid or something...who knows...its really kinda hard to tell if she's telling the truth or not sometimes...but really, none of my business...i feel bad for my hubby and mother in law because, that's really brothering them, it bothers me because it bothers jeff, that's all....

oh well, after an hour. I went out (my baby is napping in case you're wondering heheh)jeff is not in the yard, guess where is he? on the couch, sleeping like a baby...

i didn't wake him up, ha ha ha..celebrate! so I start making dinner, and its getting chilly out, and also getting dark, so this is going good, no yard cleaning today...6pm? I tried to wake him up, and tell yah, jeff is probably the hardest person to wake up...i mean....seriously...he just looked at me, says ah what? his eyes half open then he went back dreaming i guess...

so I feed my baby, i woke him up, told him its almost 7pm and asked if he is hungry, he had a late snack around 4pm, and sometimes he doesn't want to eat if it was a big snack, he just want something light in the evening...asking me? I made spaghetti for dinner, but I really feel of eating sardines...since I haven't had it for a while, so i went to the kitchen and made my self a fresh rice...yum, with the spicy sardines.

so there was my night, when Jeff finally got up at 8pm, he still headed to the garden and get the rest of the green unripe tomatoes and some rotten ones,that we have put in the boxes a day before and left out there,since we didn't finish and the weather is nice anyways, because he wanted to get the seeds out of it....and me watching the VMA....with oz..

he asked me to do this and that...i said later, during commercials. yeah, gotta watch the VMA of course!!...i went to the kitchen just to find this massive mess AGAIN, don't you hate cleaning someone else's mess....#@!^%$%!!!!!!

grrr...i just wanted a relaxing night....but i hate waking up with the dirty kitchen or sink...do i really have a choice? NO. as on 0% chance.

I married someone who is a good cook, but men oh men, didn't realize it will take me 15 minutes to eat the fabulous meal WHEN he cooks or prepared but it will take me 2 hours to clean up his mess....okay...exaggeration..

but don't you hate it??? my point is, we all get our not-so-good-not-in-the-mood-days
and here's one of those days...and i just want to scream on the top of my lungs...literally!

MeMe que Jazz

1. I've come to realise that my breasts...

are just right for the type of body I have.


2. I've come to realise that my job...

well, it doesn't feel like a job, and it is not a job (ano daw? ayaw pa kasing sabihin wala nga work, heheh.)..BUT as a mother and wife is the greatest job in the whole wide world :) (naks, sabay ganun eh!)


3. I've come to realise that when I'm driving...
e hindi kaya ako nagda-drive..he heh. well, hind pah..


4. I've come to realise that I need...

to be more focus and motivated kung gusto ko matupad mga pangarap ko sa buhay..


5. I've come to realise that I've lost..

in touch with SOME of my good, great, loving friends..

6. I've come to realise that I hate it when...

people are rude...


7. I've come to realise that the person I like...
makes me laugh like no one else.


8. I've come to realise that money...can bring you happiness...he he he


9. I've come to realise that people...surprise you in unexpected time and place..


10. I've come to realise that I'll always be...Forever Grateful..


12. I've come to realise that my mum...is one of the most loving and generous person I know..


13. I've come to realise that my cell phone...
is not the latest one, but at least i can text anywhere in the world..heheh.


14. I've come to realise that when I woke up this morning...
there's SO MUCH..as in MANY MANY blessings surrounds me each day..


15. I've come to realise that last night before I went to sleep...I am thinking about all my paperworks,damn! its mind-boggling!


16. I've come to realise that right now I am thinking about...where shall I start??


17. I've come to realise that my dad...didn't had a chance to hold his grandchildren (he is watching over us I know)


18. I've come to realise that when I get on Facebook...I am excited to see all my Friend's latest pictures and adventures.


19. I've come to realise that today...
could be the best day of my life :) naks, *wish*wish*


20. I've come to realise that tonight...I really want to cook a real good dinner, whether mom-in-law is coming or not


21. I've come to realise that tomorrow will be...

another GRATEFUL day...


22. I've come to realise that I really want to...

to get a A LOT of things accomplish...

24. I've come to realise that life...isn't fair but GOD is...


25. I've come to realise that this weekend...
is unpredictable...


26. I've come to realise that my ex...

bf ba itu?? is somehow became a good teacher to me..


27. I've realised the best music to listen to when I am upset...
Gospel music..


28. I've come to realise that my friends...

are few but I love all of them with all my heart..


29. I've come to realise that the past year...i have met a lot of challenges, but couldn't be happier..


30. I've come to realise that when people walk out of my life...its a chance for someone else to walk right in.

TAG KO ANG AKING MGA SUPER FABULOUS NA FRIENDS, SI KAT, HONEY & FLOR (oo na, mapupuno ng forever tag itong blog ko heheh.)

A Love Story

Prayer Tag

Salamat sa aking super sweet na friend na si Honey, name pa lang
obyus ba ang pagka-sweeeeeeeeeeeeeet!!

1. List 5 persons whom we wish to have good health. Pwedeng miyembro ng pamilya na may sakit, kamag-anak o malapit na kaibigan. Pwede ding mga taong nde nyo masyadong ka-close pero humihingi ng prayers sa inyo.

(Revised: kahit walang sakit basta gusto mong i-pray or health here does not mean physical health lamang…)

2. Mag offer ng prayer para sa kanila. Pwedeng personal prayer, rosary o pag aalay ng misa.

3. Mag tag ng kahit ilang tao. Mas marami mas maganda, mas maraming magdadasal. Simple lang di ba?

1. Pinagdarasal ko ang aking kuya gabby ko na sana matupad na ang pangarap
nya na makapunta sa ibang bansa at hopefully makapag-start ng bagong buhay and find someone who will love him forever...

2. Pinagdarasal ko ang aking friend na si Teacher Cecille na maging maayos ang kanyang panganganak ngayong October, at for super healthy nyang baby at sya rin..

3. Para sa aking besfriend sa Qatar na nalilito at nahihirapan dahil
sa pagiging malayo nya sa asawa at anak, sana bigyan sya ng strenght and more
guidance.

4. para sa aking mga friends na si mel and rona na nasa Singapore
sana nakahanap na sila ng work at maging masaya sila sa kanilang
bagong adventure

5. para sa mga tao at sa aking mga kaibigan na nakaka-eexperience ng kung anumang kalungkutan, paghihirap sa financial at ibang aspeto ng pangangailangan,emotional,at pagititiis, sinasama ko kayo sa aking mga panalangin, minsan naisip natin ang mga sacrifices natin, nakikinig at nandyan ang Diyos sa bawat galaw natin...trust me, God Listens...He always there in every step of the way..

Tag ko si Flor at Ellen :) you guys...

Tag My Self (nakigaya kay Honey)

1. Where is your cell phone? sa ibabaw ng entertainment center (para di maabot ni oz)


2. Your hair? a mess :)


3. Your mother? denmark (working @ dis moment)

4. Your father? kinuha na ni Lord

5. Your favorite food? Thai Food (anything spicy i am so IN!)


6. Your dream last night? potty-training my son ( felt so frustrated)

7. Your favorite drink? Sago & Gulaman forever

8. Your dream/goal? Too many to mention

9. What room you are in? step-daughter's/guest room

10. Your hobby? dancing, scrap-booking, writing (snail)letters


11. Your fear? malayo (kahit panandalian lang) sa aking anak at asawa

12. Where do you want to be in 6 years? In a Super Nice (we owned) Home in a friendly neighborhood here in Twin Lakes


13. Where were you last night? Home


14. Something that you aren’t? good in grammar


15. Muffins?I love baking them but Im not fond of eating them (gaya2 kay honey)


16. Wish list item? forever21



17. Where did you grow up? Caloocan City



18. Last thing you did? changed diaper



19. What are you wearing? jean short and a stripe blouse


20. Your TV? on- my son is watching


21. Your pet? a dog,her name is terra and she's fabulous!


22. Friends? i am blessed with really good and fabulous ones


23. Your life? very happy and fabulous!


24. Your mood? so moody today (meron kse eh!)

25. Missing someone? my brother


26. Car? Chevy Van


27. Something you’re not wearing? a super long dress (kasi maliit ako, baka lamunin akoh!)


28. Your favorite store? Guess,baby gap & Forever21


29. Your favorite colors? as of now, i am in love with yellow and white


30. When was the last time you laughed? like a few minutes ago while I was watching my son being so silly

31. Last time you cried? last week (emo kay hubby)

32. Who will resend this? i dunno-


33. One place that you go to over and over? Home (sa Pinas)



34. One person who emails you regularly? not regularly pero madalas si flor


35. Your favorite place to eat? Yung Thai resto sa Robinson sa Pinas


Flor & Kat tag ko kayo hah. sige nah, wag na mahiya!heheh.

on wanting something (but at this moment can't have it yet)

~ jeff and i went to some garage sale on weekends whenever we get a chance,though its funny that we are not looking for any particular thing, anything that caught our eye or we see something interesting and if it is a good deal we take it. So far we haven't got anything except for the fact knowing that most of these houses are for sale. And there's like a sad stories behind it...well, not all of them but some are...the last place that we went at was in a very quiet, nice neighborhood, very private. The man is very friendly and he talked to Jeff for a while which i didn't mind because they have this big yard and there was a couple of horses, and my son Ozzie was just so happy to see the horses...
I took a few pictures of the back yard, the horses and the drive way..no picture of the house ...and i like it because I like the privacy...the quietness, yet there are neighbors and houses are pretty close to each other, not some like your living in the middle of nowhere...no way.

i want to own a really nice home. not so big. just big enough for kids with minimal, basic things that needed for everyday life.

but for now i will keep dreaming about it, hoping and praying that if I stay good enough (maybe) all my wishes will be granted, that is if it meant to be...

Michael Jackson Medley - Remembering Michael (AJ Rafael - Piano)

~I still can't wrap my head about what happened to Micheal Jackson.
I just love a lot of his songs and his performances in his
show was just amazing!
It was just shocking and .....
i just don't know what to say...

"To MJ : Your music will live in Our Hearts Forever.
Thank you for sharing your amazing talent to the whole
world. You inspired a millions of artist.
You will surely be missed.
You are a legend.

"What moves through us is a silence, a quiet sadness, a longing for one more day, one more word, one more touch, we may not understand why you left this earth so soon, or why you left before we were ready to say good-bye, but little by little, we begin to remember not just that you died, but that you lived. And that your life gave us memories too beautiful to forget."


A special thanks to AJ, who posted this beautiful tribute to Michael Jackson.
this video really made me cry :( and really touched my heart.
And please support him,check out his videos on youtube!
click >> this


he is an AWESOME artist !!

when i miss home...

i do like sardines... a lot!
and for some reason everytime i open a can
of sardines, and that's normally happens
if i am too lazy to cook or not in the mood
to cook anything...or just simply want to have
that "taste of home"...

this particular LIGO brand is my fave, although
i also like some other fancy one in a jar
like said from Cebu, oh! so yummy!

but this one reminds me of childhood...
my father.my mother. ( lagi ko request ang miswa)
our life back then.
our home.
rainy days in pinas...
or kung may bagyo pa nga.
my friends. (who loves to partner it with payless noodles, then coffee,
kahit pa 100 degrees ang weather. lol)

basta.

i love it.

when my sister came to visit us, and btw. she's a fabulous chef, cook
i always see her having this tomato,onions (vidalia),jalapeno like
a side dish or what not, in her meal ...well, it depends on what she eats or
what we ate that day...and when i had it with sardines, it actually
pretty awesome, i like it!

now, i have to make sure i have these trios, before i open a can,
coz i feel, it isn't the same or not-so-complete if one is missing :)

and yes. i love the red can. the filipino version of i guess spicy.
mildly spicy. but not-spicy for me..at all.
but ...i just like it.

GOOD LUCK RACKIE!

I had a really good talk with my step daughter Rackie
last night...as I wished her Good luck for American Idol
Audition...

I am so positive that She will absolutely do amazingly well.

She is a good singer.

And She knows we are all here cheering Out loud for her!

So my dear, Good Luck and this will be a Fabulous Experience for you :)

With all Our love!!

p.s.

i also sent her a text message:

Good Luck to the best sister in a whole wide world!
Your number one fan, your baby brother, Ozzie

I had an idea because when Rackie was singing
in karaoke, Ozzie loves to listen to her..
and its a joy to watch..so i guess as a mother
I just put it into words for her to know :)

YUMMY BLUEBERRY MUFFINS

~ jeff baked a yummy blueberry muffins on friday
he actually used a yellow cake mix then he mix a LOT
of fresh blueberries in it...and it was simply delicious.
ozzie had a lot of it for breakfast & snacks.
I prefer to eat it with freshly brewed coffee :)



~You can actually see all that yummy blueberries inside-yum-oh!~